Is being a Princess contagious?

Queen Teen was in a bad mood when she got home from school.

"Mom! You forgot to put the Cinderella pen in my school bag."

"No, you forgot to put the Cinderella pen in your school bag."

"Well... I didn't even know where it was!"

"It's on the TV stand right next to your sunglasses and hat."

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Because it's sitting right there."

"Well I didn't see it!"

"You can bring it tomorrow."

"Well, you should have put it in my bag!"

I held up my hands. "Stop yelling at me."

She glared, looked away, and mumbled, "Well... she should have."

I left the room, counting quickly, "1,2,3,4..."

Two hours later, after her snack and movie, she came into the kitchen where I was preparing dinner and said, "You left my cup in the living room, Mom."

"No, I think you left your cup in the living room," I said.

She stopped and glared at me. "It doesn't go there."

"Really? I had no idea." I kept stirring my pot of pasta.

She just kept looking at me. Sarcasm is lost on her.

Then she released the breaks of her walker with a loud "snap-snap" and turned around. While she walked out of the kitchen she said, "Well, that's not where it goes."

A little while later, Queen Teen yelled from her room, "Mom!"

I walked in and saw her sitting on the floor. "Yeah?"

"I can't find my book."

"Which book?"

"The book I was reading."

"I don't know which book that was."

"The Rugrats one."

Queen Teen has thirty Rugrats books. "Which one?" I asked again.

"The one I was reading!"

"Honey, I don't know which one you were reading."

"Hmph!" She crossed her arms and turned away from me.

I sighed, and started counting again, "1,2,3,4..."

After dinner, she got ready for her bath. I was taking her hair out of the ponies, when she snapped, "Mom! We washed my hair yesterday!"

"I know. I'm pulling your hair up higher so it doesn't get wet."

"You don't have to do that!"

"Fine!" I had only one of her ponies out so I left the other one in and started the water running.

"Mom, what are you doing?"

"Starting your bath."

"But you have to fix my hair."

I took a deep breath, counted to 5, turned around and stood very close to her. "You forgot to say please."

"Well... I don't...."

"You forgot to say please," I repeated.

She looked down and  mumbled, "Please."

"What did you say?"

"Please."

"OK." I took out the remaining pony-tail and then pulled her hair up into a bun.

She looked at me and smiled, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

After her bath I helped her dress, then tucked her in for bed.

"My pillow isn't high enough."

I stood up and looked at her with my arms crossed.

"Will you please fix my pillow," she said sweetly.


Is being a Princess contagious, because since we came home from Disneyland she seems to think she should be wearing the royal jewels and giving orders. 

Reality

"Cinderella remembered me and was happy to see me," Queen Teen said after Cinderella stopped by our table in Ariel's Grotto. The Princess helped Queen Teen stand, hugged her tightly, and then chatted for a moment. She signed Queen Teen's autograph book then moved on to the next table where more starry eyed little girls waited for her.

Cinderella is Queen Teen's favorite. From the moment she first saw the movie when she was 4,  Cinderella has been her bestest imaginary friend and personal hero. And when she actually met Cinderella at Disneyland three years ago, Queen Teen acted as if she'd had lunch with Miley Cyrus. Cinderella is real and lives in Disneyland with the other Disney Princesses, Tinker Bell and Mickey Mouse!

When do kids stop believing that Princess Jasmine and Arielle are real?

At age fifteen I suppose she should be past that stage, but she isn't. In fact, since her hearing disappeared she seems stuck at an in-between stage: too old to be a little girl, but unable to take that leap into being a teenager. She doesn't know who Justin Beiber is and couldn't care less.

When she was 3, she had an imaginary best friend named Bobby who went everywhere with her. He stayed by her side until she was in the 2nd grade, which is when she made real friends. Some girls in her class began sitting with her at lunch, playing with her at recess, and one invited Queen Teen to her birthday party. All through elementary school, she had a large group of girl friends, all of who vanished when she entered Middle School. They moved on to cell phones, spent their time chasing boys, and one began teasing Queen Teen, distancing herself from the "retarded kid." This is the same time Queen Teen's hearing declined, until by the 9th grade Queen Teen was profoundly deaf.

Her imaginary friend has returned, this time by the name of Sara. Queen Teen spends her days at home talking to Sara and Cinderella, laughing at their jokes, arguing over something Queen Teen may have done, debating the merits of good manners, and giving advice. Even at school, I've seen her turn her head and say out loud, "What did you say Sara? Oh yeah... you can say that again."

It makes a lot of sense that she'd talk to people in her head more than the people around her. It's difficult having a conversation with people in the real world. Imaginary people speak a language she can understand, and they always understand her.  Cinderella is one of her best-friends. We visit her every year at her home, Disneyland, and every year Cinderella stops at our table and gives Queen Teen a hug.

This year, Queen Teen finally met her second most favorite Disneyland person, Mary Poppins. Mary Poppins and Bert spent a long time with her, chatting and smiling. They took their time and gave Queen Teen a chance to talk, too, something most people don't have the time to do in the so-called real world.

That's the best part of our trips to Disneyland; every cast-member takes their time with her, even when they're pressed for time by the hundreds of other children waiting their turn to visit. Whoever trains them has done a fantastic job. I wish they could train us how to do it.

How does Queen Teen define reality? It seems that the world she's created inside her own head is more real than the world we all live in out here, with our hectic schedules and demands, our complicated language increasingly difficult to understand, and our too fast pace. If Justin Bieber is the real world, Queen Teen doesn't want anything to do with it.

How did it go at Disneyland?

Rick didn't embarrass Queen Teen too badly, I guess.

Disneyland!!!!!

We're going to Disneyland again!!!!! Hee hee hee hee hee!!!!!!!

I think I'm more excited than Queen Teen, and definitely more excited than Rick. He's calling it "Disneyhell" and is packing extra Valium in preparation for the crowds. But he's a trooper, a great dad, and is going to Disneyhell to help me and to see the look on his darling daughter's face when she sees Cinderella again.

Because that is a moment no one should miss.

Queen Teen, however, isn't so thrilled that Rick is coming. She's afraid he's going to embarrass her in front of Cinderella. What if he moons Mickey, or farts in front of Princess Aurora? She's convinced he's going to do something silly and then she'll never be able to show her face in Disneyland again.

It's traumatic when you're almost 16 and your dad takes it as a personal challenge to embarrass you.

Rick has promised to be on his best behavior, so Queen Teen has agreed that he can hang out with us, although she may make him walk five steps behind, just in case he farts or something. I told her I would personally smack him in the head if he does something rude. Rick just grinned.

I think I'll ditch them both and go ride Pirates of the Caribbean a few hundred times.

She's also not too happy about having to share me. I think she's feeling neglected because I've been so slammed with school this last year and haven't been able to spend as much time with her. That's changed now, but she still gets jealous when I spend time with Rick or friends. That girl isn't happy unless I'm glued to her side watching Sponge Bob all day. Once we get there, it will be better. I think she's going to enjoy a real family vacation for a change. I know I am. We haven't all been on a trip together since she was about 10 years old.

Cheers everyone! I'll be in Disneyland for the next few days, eating Gluten Free pizza and listening to my daughter sing while I push her traveling throne through Fantasy Land. And kicking Rick now and then. ;-)

Do Princesses wear glasses?

Yes. Yes they do.

Taking a break from stress and worry

Queen Teen and I had reached our max on unhappiness, so we headed to Disneyland. I bought a Disney vacation package from AAA (great deal!). The two of us packed our bags, said goodbye to homework, therapy, doctors and housework and then flew to LA to lose ourselves in the Magic Kingdom.

What is it about Disneyland that makes people drop everything and spend far more money than they should just to wander around the park in the hope of meeting a Princess or getting on a ride in less than 30 minutes? I have never been what you'd call a Disney person; I could care less about Mickey Mouse and I'd scoff at people who collected pins. But now, I can't wait for our annual trip to D-Land. Annual trip? Yep. Queen Teen demands it. We hunt autographs and trade pins with the most hard-core Disney fans, but we skip the rides. Just wandering the lanes, looking at the shops and statues, flowers and settings, is enough for us, and when we run across a character like Minnie Mouse we're thrilled.

This was the year for Minnie. Queen Teen has developed a passion for all things Minnie, in fact, I think it's almost equal to her love for Cinderella. We spotted Minnie three times and posed with her twice, and in every shop Queen Teen hunted for the Minnie Mouse dolls. The other highlight for Queen Teen was meeting Princess Jasmine, one of the Disney princesses she hadn't met before. And of course, she met Cinderella. I reserved a table at Ariel's Grotto where the Princesses come to your table while you eat, and it was a good thing I did, because that was the only place Cinderella appeared. If we went to D-Land and missed Cinderella, Queen Teen would be crushed. And we met Princess Tianna in New Orlean's Square, who sang songs from the Frog Princess accompanied by a New Orleans Jazz style band.

Overall, it was a good trip, except for the food poisoning. Our first night at the California Grand, I ate a salad and woke up sick as a dog. The sickness lasted the entire trip, making it even harder to care for Queen Teen on my own so far from home. I sipped tea and ate crackers while pushing her wheelchair several miles a day. Even without being sick, it was difficult taking care of her alone. She's so much bigger and heavier, as well as more wobbly. Between her size and worsening ataxia I realized taking her do Disneyland, or anywhere far away, by myself has become almost impossible. Sure, I can do it, but at a cost to my energy and sanity. Next time, Rick is coming.

While we explored the park, Queen Teen sang songs at the top of her lungs, making the people we passed smile. "This little light of mine... I'm gonna let it shine..." Seeing her that happy after so many weeks of snarling misery was worth every dime, every exertion, even worth food poisoning.

On our last day, Queen Teen announced, "I'm so lucky! I get to come to Disneyland. Not everybody gets to go, but I do. And I get to go next year too!"

Yes you do, darlin.

A Little Retail Therapy

What do you do with a teenage girl who is so bored she may die (or so she claims)?

Go to the Mall.

We don't have a Mall in our town, so we drove an hour south to the closest city. My good friend Jody joined us and we three girls indulged our cravings for shiny new things, especially Queen Teen. She had a gift card to Justice where she picked out a new dress. We also hit the Disney store where we reminisced about our trip while checking out the toys. Even Jody got into the spirit when she almost bought an Ariel tub toy (It was so cool! Her mermaid tail fluttered so she could swim).

I told Queen Teen she could buy a new toy and I expected her to grab some kind of Cinderella thing, but she surprised me when she chose a Tinker Bell stuffy. It appears that Cinderella may have slipped from the favorite position. Since we saw the Tinker Bell movie this weekend, Queen Teen has been enamored with Tinker Bell and all her friends. The stuffies were two-for-one, so she chose a Cinderella doll to go with Tinker Bell. But she kept Tinker Bell in her lap as we rolled around in her wheel chair and Cinderella got stuffed into the shopping bag. Poor Cinderella.

We left the mall and walked up a tree shaded street lined with shops and cafes. The weather was gorgeous; a good 20 degrees cooler than our home. After exploring, we sat in the lovely sunshine near a fountain in the town square where Queen Teen ate her snack and Jody and I drank lattes. Queen Teen rolled herself around the little park, enjoying some freedom, happy to be able to go outside without being seared by 105 degree heat.

Back at home, the retail therapy buzz lasted for a whole day. She was cheerful and happily played with her new dolls. But by the second day, the blues slowly crept back in. Too bad the mall cure is so short lived.

Queen Teen Goes to Disneyland

What an enchanting adventure that was! Queen Teen's first trip to Disneyland! It turned out far better than I had imagined. I expected her to be fearful and need to take frequent breaks, but instead Queen Teen pushed herself onward, eager to stay and explore.

We had help from my dear friend Tama and her daughter, Boo-Bug. There is no way I could have managed this trip without her. She's a real Disney fan (even has an annual pass), so she knew where to go in the park and how to get the best deals. She drove us all the way to LA, arranged the lodging, got the passes to the park and to Ariel's Grotto, and held on to Queen Teen when I needed a bathroom break. Tama, you are my hero!

On the first day, Queen Teen wore her baby-blue princess dress and got her hair done up like Cinderella at the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique. We explored Fairy Tale Land and then at 11:30 went to Ariel's Grotto for lunch. I knew Queen Teen was nervous because she gripped the brakes of her wheelchair and hardly looked up from her lap. But when I asked her if she was alright she loudly said, "Yes." She was determined to be in Disneyland, so she kept her agoraphobia in check and insisted she was fine.

In Ariel's Grotto we met Ariel, Snow White, Aurora, and Belle. Then Queen Teen met her hero, Cinderella. She was so excited she couldn't stand up. I helped her up and Cinderella wrapped her arm around Queen Teen's waist to support her. Cinderella knew immediately how to interact with Queen Teen, speaking clearly and leaning in closer for Queen Teen to see her face. Queen Teen just kept grinning.

We were at Disneyland two and a half days, staying at the California Grand Hotel because it was closest to the park and easiest for Queen Teen if she needed a break. Happily, we didn't need to worry. Queen Teen took a deep breath and plunged in, excited to be there, happy to explore, and genuinely having a great time. She even went on a few rides.

I was surprised she wanted to go on a ride. I was waiting for the panic attacks, the shouts of fear as she begged to get off. But she wanted to do go on a ride at Disneyland, so she allowed the staff to help her and then sat beside me, gripping my arm like a vice. She rarely looked up at the scenery, instead staring down at her lap, concentrating on the sensation of movement and the need to keep her fear at bay. We chose mellow, relaxing rides, the ones without any drops, spins, or fast movement. First she rode It's a Small World, sitting up high in her wheelchair on the boat, looking like a homecoming queen as she stared at the animatronic puppets, unsure of what they were. She also rode through Story Book Land but wouldn't look up at the miniatures so I had to describe them as we went by. On Jungle Adventure, she laughed when the robot elephant splashed the boat and a few drops landed on her head. The Train seemed boring to her, but driving a car in Autopia was much more challenging. When she drove, she steered wildly but wouldn't look up to see where she was going. "Driving hurts my hands," she declared when it was over.

Mostly we wandered the park, stopping to examine the flowers and statues. And we met characters; now she knows who Micky Mouse and Minnie Mouse are, as well as Alladin, Chip and Dale, and Brother Bear.

I pushed her wherever she wanted to go and got tearful several times. I was so happy to be there with her, so thrilled that we were able to make another dream come true. There is nothing more wonderful in the world than my daughter smiling.

I was so impressed with the staff of the park and how well they worked with Queen Teen. They knew exactly how to help her feel comfortable, from speaking loudly to assisting her on the rides. The terrain of the park is primarily level and easy to navigate in a wheelchair, despite the crowds, and most of the rides are accessible. Disneyland is perfect for people with disabilities, more so than any other amusement park I've ever seen. For a teen-girl dressed like a princess in a wheelchair, it was heaven.

On the last morning we took one more stroll around the park before leaving. After lunch I said, "It's time to go now."

She smiled and said, "That's okay." Then she looked thoughtful. "Mom."

"Yes."

"Can we come back next year?"

"We'll see what we can do."

Darling girl, if there is anyway I can make it happen, I will bring you back to Disneyland next year.

Disneyland

Image from Coloring Page for Kids.com

Tomorrow, Queen Teen and I go to Disneyland. We're meeting my dear friend Tama and her youngest daughter Boo Bug and then driving together to LA where we will explore all that is Disneyland. Cinderella is a top priority.

This is Queen Teen's first trip to the "happiest place on Earth." I haven't been since high school, and most of my memories are about making out with my then boyfriend. We're not a very Disney family. I have friends who are total Disney devotees, but I've always been a bit blase about Mickey Mouse and his friends. Disney. Whatever. I like Pixar better.

Queen Teen hasn't shown much interest either, except for Cinderella, and her aversion to amusement parks and loud crowds didn't inspire me to attempt a very expensive trip to a place she'd hate. But last summer she began asking me about Disneyland. What is it? Where is it? Do they really have Cinderella there?

My daughter loves Cinderella the way some girls her age worship Hannah Montana.

At the beginning of this year, I decided to take the plunge. I set aside some of my student loan and started making plans. When I told Queen Teen we were going she almost fell over. She laughed and clapped her hands and shouted "Disneyland!"

Happily, my friend agreed to come with me. There was no way I could take Queen Teen to Disneyland by myself and Rick REALLY didn't want to go. He would if he had to, but he didn't relish an all things Princess day at Disneyland. Somehow I can't really see him there. Instead it will be us four girls embracing our inner Princesses on a quest to meet Cinderella.

I am so excited!