I was drowning in paperwork, so my husband rescued me.

On Sunday, I spent five hours of a beautiful, sunny day locked up in my room surrounded by piles of SSI forms, pay-stubs, bank statement, savings statements, insurance statement, medical reports, old IEP's, current evaluations, CCS authorizations, Regional Center authorizations, receipts, artwork from my daughter, articles I wanted to read but never managed to, advocacy information, special education legal guides, a few Johnny Depp pictures, and paperwork filed under "miscellaneous." My entire room, from floor to desk to bed, was covered in white and beige paper.

I was preparing for our annual Social Security interrogation... I mean the "Representative Payee" interview. Every year I need to show Social Security that I am wisely using the money they give my daughter for her care, while also showing we need the help and that I'm not trying to screw the government out of benefits we don't need. I have to justify every expenditure and keep track of every penny, showing bank statements and pay-stubs for an entire year. I imagine it must feel a lot like preparing for a deposition.

Since I had to organize the paperwork for that, I decided I might as well tackle the whole mess. My filing system of throwing paper behind the bed was no longer working. Typically, I keep excellent records, but this last year has been a tad more hectic than normal, so in a rush I'd toss documents into a pile to put into the filing cabinet "later." Later had arrived, and I plowed into the pile with determined dread.

Two hours in, I was in full blown panic; my body was shaking and I couldn't make sense of the forms I was reading. Is this my bank statement, or Queen Teen's? What year is it? How far back do I need to go for pay stubs? Is this an original or a copy? How long do I have to keep this shit? The filing cabinet was packed with every important document since Queen Teen's birth and here was more needing to be filed. More and more and more and it just kept coming and I had to keep track of it all and if I lost anything it seemed to cause problems but how much more could I cram into the filing cabinet and OMG!

My husband entered the room. "Honey."

I jumped. "What?"

He looked at me and then the pile, asked a quick question, then left. Smart man.

After another thirty minutes I walked out of the room needing to escape the claustrophobia of paperwork. My husband handed me a glass of wine and said, "Come outside."

"I need to finish filing."

"Just a minute. I want to show you what I'm doing."

"You mean you want me to help you." I scowled at him.

He shook his head and said, "I just like the company."

I sighed and resigned myself to going outside to look at the fence he was repairing. We chatted about lattice and rotten wood and how many posts he had to replace. I looked at the flower pots he bought earlier that day and remembered the succulent still sitting on my kitchen window. It would look lovely in that pot. Soon, I was happily potting the little succulent and taking it to its new home in the back garden.

Oooh, my husband is good. All he had to do was get me outside near my plants to help me calm down. Just touching a little dirt and smelling the damp soil after I watered made the panic leave my body. The sun was warm but not too hot and the breeze smelled like jasmine and old wood. I smiled at my husband who was busy tearing out old boards from the rotting fence.

Smart man.

A Fascination with Terrariums

As I've mentioned in an earlier post, I've been having trouble writing lately. Instead, I've been drawn to the delicate beauty of terrariums. A tiny plant; some sand and rocks; a bit of stone and glass; a surprise of feather or bone. I arrange the various items to decide which plant will go with which shell and the shape of the bowl, then start arranging. It's like creating living sculpture. My husband likes to call them, Terenaiums (a mix of my name and the word. since I'm the one making it, why not?

Here was my first attempt:

A tall, square, glass vase filled with rock, moss, soil, and then two cuttings from the plant that was tangled in my kitchen window (which I can't remember the name of now).








I also added shards of sea glass
I'd collected at the beach for more sparkle.




I made this one using the glass bowl my sister-in-law had given me and an abalone shell Rick and I found at the beach.

With the addition of sand and smooth glass beads, it reminds me of water lapping on shore.

This one I made for my husband.

If you look closely, you'll see the glow in the dark UFO surrounded by bits of reflective debris.

Soon the plants will grow around the crash-site until all traces are hidden (unless Moulder and Scully get there first).

I am obsessed with terrariums now; I see little bits of plant life, wood, shells, coins, figurines, chicken bones, rocks, old forks, antique buttons and left over party favors and instantly wonder what kind of terrarium I could make. Looking at plants, I try to decide if it could live surrounded by black sand in a glass jar. I've always been into plants, but now I am making artwork with plants and random bits of interesting things I find lying on the ground when I walk.

I bought a great book called Terrarium Craft, by Amy Bryant Aiello and Kate Bryant, and it is fabulous. An inspiring book with great ideas and gorgeous photography. Includes step by step instructions on creating terrariums in which your plants will thrive. 

I'm hooked, so my husband built me new shelving in the kitchen to display my creations. And don't be surprised if everyone I know gets a terrarium someday. They'er just so fun to build. And a soothing break from working with words all the time. I'm still using good creative energy, but not in a focused cerebral way. A perfect break for my overloaded brain.

A beautiful May Day

We've had another cool Spring so far, but on Sunday the weather turned warm and perfect: high 70's, soft breeze, no clouds. Every flower that had been timidly blooming in the unseasonal 50 degree temperatures sprung into life with a brilliance of color and a blast of pollen.

I've been sneezing my head off ever since, but I don't mind. It's just too beautiful around here.

Queen Teen and I harvested the mint to make room for the new garden space.

We had planted a huge patch of mint when we moved here, 8 years ago, but when we decided to expand the garden we had to dig them all up because they were hogging the sun. 

Once the harvest was finished, Rick spent all of Sunday creating the new garden area: building an 8 x 8 frame, hauling in dirt, mixing in compost, and putting down wire to keep the gophers out. Here it is, already christened with our Princess Scarecrow:

Unfortunately, the sudden warm weather woke up more than just the flowers.

Guess what this is....

Aphids, aphids everywhere and not a stem to see

After I blasted them off the rose bush with a the hose, I squirted the stems with dish soap, but I'm not sure I got them all. This is a large rose bush (more like a tree) and there must be a million aphids on it. We've had aphids before, but never like this! 

But I didn't let the aphid invasion ruin my day. Once I finished working in the yard, Queen Teen and I went for a stroll in the neighborhood and walked under this tree:

The bees were humming as we passed, and Queen Teen sang at the top of her little lungs, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!"

Happy May Day

My yard is waking up after a long, wet, hibernation

The air is warm and smells like tree blossoms, sticky sweet and buzzing with bees. After a winter with so much rain there was a creek running down my street for three weeks, all this sunshine feels comforting. Even I, who hate hot weather more than just about anything (except tomatoes, and spiders) am soaking up the warmth and driving out the moldy feeling in my bones.

It makes me want to start planting.

But this is what my back yard looks like...

...a massive tangle of knee high weeds, mud, "dog-bombs," and onion grass attempting to take over absolutely every inch of dirt.

Suddenly I am not so eager to go outside and start a garden.

But as I look at this mess called my yard, I see almost undetected signs of Spring.

The Peppermint patch is coming back to life.

The tulips are starting to bloom.

Tiny buds are germinating on the grape vines...

...like this.

The berry patch is valiantly blossoming despite the onslaught of the encroaching onion grass (whoever planted onion grass in the back yard needs a smacking! Every year I have to dig it out, and every year it comes back stronger than ever).

I discovered this gift from the birds blooming. Most of the flowers in my yard are from bird droppings. They must be saying thank you for the bird seed and fresh water we provide all winter.

All the plants in my yard are waking up, stretching their growing muscles and shouting like a New York cabbie hunting for a fare, "Hey! You on the deck! A little attention over here!"

Time to roll up my sleeves, find my gloves, and get to work.