Christmas Photos

I finally have a chance to upload a few photos to go with the post about Queen Teen's Christmas.

On Christmas Morning, Bourre (our dog) helped Queen Teen find her Santa Claus goodies.



There was even a Santa suit for Queen Teen's favorite doll, Bessie Baby.



Bourre checked to make sure we didn't miss anything.



Once Bourre got her own gift (a new bone) she settled down to gnaw away while watching us open the rest of the gifts from family and friends.

There was a new dress for Abby (the American Girl doll)...


...and new clothes for Queen Teen, including a lovely new hat and scarf.



But the best gift came from Rick; a Disney Princess playset.



I hope you all had a wonderful Holiday and that the spirit of this season lasts throughout 2009.

Queen Teen's Holiday

I think the days between Thanksgiving and New Years are actually just a sanctioned time to not get any work done. Forget returning phone calls or finishing paperwork: it's the holidays. After grumpily trying to still manage my press while raising my daughter and organizing all of her doctor's appointments and documents, I gave in to the collective avoidance of work and relaxed. Once I did that, I had fun.

Tomorrow Queen Teen returns to school and I guess I'll have to get back to tackling my to-do list. But before I do, I'd like to write about my holiday with my girl.

Overall, it was a quiet season for us. No big trips or family plans. We spent Christmas Eve dinner with my brother and his family, but that was short and he only lives an hour away. Christmas Day was a stay home, stay in our pj's, open presents and eat when we want day.

I imagine this will be Queen Teen's last Santa Clause Christmas. She's 13. So seeing her face Christmas morning when she found her gifts next to the tree was extra sweet. Her eyes widened and she grinned when she saw that Santa had come again. He gave her a Groovy Girls Princess doll, several coloring books and new crayons, and a princess wand. He also gave her 10 Rugrats books, which she has read non-stop since Christmas.

Her favorite gift came from Rick; a Disney Princess play set with every classic princess. When she isn't reading her new books, she's playing with the princess figurines. I gave her a New York City snow globe to remember our trip to New York, and although she said it was pretty, she can't really play with it like she can Cinderella and Belle.

After Christmas came several days of boredom mixed with new toys. It's amazing how rapidly a teenage girl can vacillate between utter boredom to hysterical fun. One moment Cinderella is the best toy EVER and the next "there's nothing to play with!"

Fed up, I loaded us both into the car to visit my sister Tama at the Den of Chaos. My sister has four children, three girls and a boy, and with that many children under one roof things can get noisy. Queen Teen jumped right in, not minding the noise or tripping hazards of the toys lying around. She didn't want to climb the stairs this time, so Boo-Bug, Tama's youngest daughter, dutifully brought toys down stairs for Queen Teen to play with, which added to the confusion, but was better than climbing a flight of stairs.

Tama and I snuck out of the house for a couple of hours for some girl-time, leaving her husband in charge of five children, two of which have special needs. And neither of us felt guilty at all.

We were there for New Years and all the children did there best to stay up until midnight. Everyone made it but mine. We were watching the footage from Time's Square at 11:30, waiting for the ball to drop. I leaned close to Queen Teen and asked, "Do you remember when we were in New York?"

"Yes," she mumbled.

"That's what's on TV right now. We were right there in Times Square."

"Yes."

I looked at her and saw her red rimmed eyes were drooping and she was so tired she could barely lift her head to look at the TV. I took her hand. "Come on, baby. Let's get you to bed. I'll give you a kiss at midnight."

"Yes." I helped her stand and put her to bed. At midnight when I checked on her, she was sound asleep.

Back home, her boredom had vanished. I guess getting away from home for a few days is the cure. She helped me put Christmas away, played with her new toys and read her new books and is now excited to go back to school tomorrow. Me too! I can't wait to tackle all that work which was impossible to get done once Thanksgiving rolled in.

Much Happiness to You All in This New Year!

In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, but never in want.

~Traditional Irish toast

Santa

(image from Tracking Down Santa)

Several weeks ago, I tried to discover how Queen Teen feels about Santa. Does she still believe? She's 13, but emotionally she's about two or three years younger. At what age do children let go of Santa?

I casually asked if she was interested in Santa. Did she want to write to him? See him when he came to town?

Queen Teen folded her arms and glared at me. "I'm not ready to give up Santa Clause!"

Okay then. I got my answer. It will be another Santa Clause Christmas. And I'm actually happy about it.

I love playing Santa; finding the perfect gifts from the North Pole and spending too much money on stocking stuffers. But the best part is early Christmas morning when she first climbs out of bed and her whole face glows with that "Santa came!" grin. My heart feels as big and warm as her smile.

We saw Santa Clause two weeks ago at the Chamber of Commerce. We were out for our usual Saturday morning, it stopped raining, walk when we strolled past the building and out walked Santa. She gripped the wheelchair breaks and said, "Look!" Santa greeted us, and then we went inside his temporary shop where he sat on a big, golden throne decorated with Christmas ribbon and bells. Queen Teen sat beside him in her chair and started giggling shyly. After I told Santa she has a hard time hearing, he spoke in a kind, loud voice. "What would you like for Christmas?"

Queen Teen giggled again and buried her chin against her chest. Then she looked at me.

"Can you tell Santa what you want?" I asked.

"I want a ......." she whispered.

"Hmmm? Can you tell me again, please?" Santa prodded.

"I want a....." she whispered.

"Should I tell Santa?" I asked.

"No! I can do it." She sat up taller, looked up at Santa and said, "I want a Princess wand." Then she collapsed back into giggling and turned bright red.

Santa said he'd see what he could do, gave her a hug, and wished us a Merry Christmas.

Luckily, Rick found a Princess Wand at Big Lots, so we're covered.

Now it's 1:00 pm on Christmas Eve and Queen Teen is beside herself waiting for Santa. Seeing her cousins and Nana tonight is great, but she can't WAIT for Santa. We even baked fresh cookies for him (another bonus for mom and dad!).

And I can't wait to see her face when she wakes up tomorrow morning and finds that Santa Clause came once again.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Solstice to you all.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Queen Teen is a crafty girl. She loves scrapbooking and drawing, collage, photography, and anything else she can make with a pair of scissors and a bottle of glue. She is in heaven this time of year because Christmas is just an excuse to make decorations and dress up the house.

First, we set up her village.



Every year, Grandpa Bear (my dad) gives her something new for her village, one year a house, another year a figurine. Last year he gave her a figure of a sled and horse (you can see it in the picture). She also inhereted two porcelain houses from her Great-Grandmother.

Queen Teen sings Christmas carols while playing with and rearranging the little people who live inside her magic village.



Even though her grandpa gives her something new every year, her village isn't too big because the heads and arms of the villagers tend to come off from all the playing. Queen Teen needs to hold and touch each item, so this village is for exploring, not just for looks.

After setting up her village, we decorated the tree.



And then later in the week, Queen Teen made a new wreath for our door.



Can you tell she likes butterflies?

She decorated our Christmas stockings with new paper stickers and drew pictures for her dad and Laurie Berkner as gifts.

Her craft-fever has slowed and since we've run out of wall space and room on the tree, she's decided to take a break from making things and start making room in her bedroom for all the new toys she's getting for Christmas. I will go out and buy more tape and glue, because by next week, she'll be itching to make something again.

The Hearing Aids are BACK

Queen Teen's hearing aids were finally repaired and for the last two weeks her teachers have been encouraging her to wear them. So far I've been lucky; the hearing aids are only at school. From what I hear, Queen Teen has been VERY unhappy about wearing them and I dread the coming battle when her teachers finally send them home.

I get email messages from Queen Teen's teachers on her progress. First day there was a lot of crying, but after 45 minutes she was distracted enough by the computer to stop crying and keep them in for a few hours. The next day, more crying, but by the third day crying had been replaced by profound sighs and rolling of eyes. She was adjusting to them quickly and her teachers were pleased.

Then came Thanksgiving break. One full week without her hearing aids.

The teachers sent them home, but I chickened out. And besides, Queen Teen was spending several days with her dad for Thanksgiving and I didn't want to send the hearing aids when he doesn't know how to use them, and what if they got lost somewhere and it would be terrible if they were broken again... I thought of at least ten reasons not to make her wear them over the holiday. But really, I dreaded the fight. The last time I made her wear them at home she cried hysterically for over an hour. Although it was true she was going to be gone and sending the hearing aids to her dad's wasn't a good idea, she could've worn them for the few days she was home with me.

School started again this week and her teachers insisted she wear her hearing aids in class. I got a note from her teacher this morning saying Queen Teen has worn them all morning and everyone can see a huge improvement in Queen Teen's abilities. She can actually hear what's going on. However, Queen Teen hasn't given up complaining about them now and then.

She told me they "itch," "bug me," and "don't do any good." "It don't help me hear no better. It just makes everything sound weird." I believe her, but the fact that they appear to help means she has to keep wearing them. We'll all keep an eye on her ears for signs of irritation, and the teacher of the hearing impaired is bringing some kind of ointment to help them feel more comfortable.

For now, she'll continue to wear them only at school. But in a few weeks it will be Winter break. Two weeks when Queen Teen will be home with me, not at her dad's, and that means we'll have plenty of time to battle over the hearing aids.

Joy

Ideas to Fatten Up an Underweight Child

Queen Teen is tiny compared to other 13 year old girls. At 4'10" and 77 pounds she is just below the small end of "normal" on the growth charts. Her height and weight are proportional though, so she doesn't look too skinny. She's not starving for calories.In fact, she's healthy and eats enough food to fuel a linebacker. The problem is she burns so much energy just trying to maintain her balance and see where she's going, every calorie disappears and nothing remains to be converted into fat. Just breathing puts her food intake at a deficit.

Being so tiny is only a problem when she gets sick and stops eating, so to ward off the starvation that comes from catching the flue, I took her to see a Dietitian.

Every Nutritionist and Dietitian I've ever talked to has been grumpy. I guess I'd be too if people came to see me to discuss their diet and then promptly ignored everything I told them about what they should eat. Happily, the Dietitian Queen Teen and I talked to was cheerful and great with kids. She took out plenty of plastic models of food and let Queen Teen explore and chat about what she liked to eat. The woman had Queen Teen laughing and sharing ideas in less than ten minutes, which is a record these days. Most doctor's appointments begin with a surly mood the second we enter the building and it only gets worse from there. I guess props help, especially a piece of rubber Swiss cheese with holes you can look through like a spy glass.

The Dietitian and I discussed ways to help Queen Teen bulk up, including adding butter to EVERYTHING. Basically her diet is good, with plenty of fruits and vegetables, protein, and not too much junk. The Dietitian encouraged me to let Queen Teen eat anything she wanted, including junk food and ice cream, especially since Queen Teen doesn't have a big sweet-tooth. This is a kid who can use all those empty calories.

Here is a recipe for a milk shake which will add 600 extra calories to Queen Teen's diet:
Base: 1/2 cup whole milk.
2 T powdered milk (get the whole milk kind, not non-fat)
1/2 cup ice cream
1/4 cream
The base has 400 calories and 12 grams of protein.

Then add any kind of flavoring you wish. The more you add, the more calories.

2 T chocolate syrup, butterscotch syrup or any fruit syrup = 90+ calories
1/2 C mashed banana + 1/2 tsp. vanilla = 64 calories
2 T jam or jelly = 120 calories
3 T malt powder = 115 calories
1/2 C fruit or 1/4 C fruit juice = 40 calories

A couple of favorite combos are:

2 T chocolate syrup + 2 T peanut butter = 265 calories
2 T peanut butter = 1 T honey + 1/4 tsp vanilla = 240 calories

If you need to add more protein, use 1/2 pkg of Instant Breakfast (65 calories and 4
grams of protein) or 1/4 C egg substitute (70 calories and 6 grams of protein).

If I make Queen Teen a shake using the base (400 calories and 12 grams of protein) and add in the Chocolate and Peanut Butter favorite combo (265 calories and 9 grams of protein) plus some egg substitute for a bit more protein (70 calories and 6 grams of protein) I've created a shake with 735 calories and 27 grams of protein!

That should help add on a few pounds.

Other helpful suggestions were:
-Add powdered milk to yogurt, gravies, mashed potatoes, hot cereal and baked
goods.
-Add grated cheese to rice, vegetables, pasta and eggs.
-Eat veggies with lots of butter. Butter is Queen Teen's weight gaining pal.
Put it on everything!
-Add a dip with her snack, like peanut butter for her apple slices, or
cream cheese with her graham crackers. All those extra sauces and dips help
add more calories.
-Having ice cream every day is a good thing for an underweight child.

I plan to make milkshakes with Queen Teen every day after school to see if that helps her gain five pounds before we see the dietitian again in January. Ten pounds would be better. I just have to be careful not to dip into her chocolate sauce too much or I'll be the one gaining the weight (and this time of year, I don't need any more temptation. mmmmmm.... chocolate milkshakes. yummmmmm!).

Queen Teen Vs. The Big Purple Ball

Queen Teen is trying to capture her greatest nemesis, namely one big purple plastic ball. The ball is light and slippery, a little smaller than a soccor ball, and it loves nothing more than to roll away out of her grasp. But Queen Teen is determined. One day, she will tame that rotten ball and when she does the ball will quake in fear and relent to her commands.

The ball had bounced off the edge of her closet door when she was trying to put it away and rolled out of her bedroom into the living room.

"Darn ball!" she yells.

The breaks of her walker go "snap-snap" when she unlocks them and it rattles loudly as she races out of her bedroom after the ball. Balancing herself with one hand on the walker, she leans over to retrieve the ball. It gently rolls at the touch of her fingertips.

"Argh!" She leans a little further and the ball rolls even more. Straightening up quickly, she pushes the walker closer to the ball where it is wedged against a chair and scoops it up in her hand. "Got it." She sets the ball on the flat seat of her walker, where it instantly rolls off, bounces against the walker's front brace, and disappears into the kitchen.

"Oh no! Darn ball!" She races after it, her walker rattling like an old bicycle on a bumpy road.

I'm watching from my seat on the couch and debating whether to get up and help her. No, I decide. I'm going to watch what happens. How long will she fight this ball before she either captures it or asks for help?

The ball stops against the edge of the wall and Queen Teen scoops it up triumphantly. "Got ya!" She once again sets it on the flat seat of her walker and once again it rolls off and bounces away.

"Argh!!!!" She's sounding more frustrated. I want to offer assistance, tell her there's no way a round ball will stay on a flat, moving surface like her walker, but I keep silent. This battle is between Queen Teen and the big purple ball.

Her eyes narrow as the ball rolls away. It bounces against the living room chair and back into the hallway toward her room. She slowly walks forward, the walker's rattle less dangerous sounding, until she spots the ball in the dim hall. "There you are!"

She carefully moves her walker as close as she can to the ball then leans over to grab it. It bounces out of her hand, but pops back when it repels off the wall. She captures it between the wheel of her walker and her hand. Very slowly she places the ball on her walker where it sits still. "There!" But as soon as she moves her walker, the ball rolls off and heads back into the living room.

I really want to step in and help, but I know she has to figure this problem out herself. She's missing the cause and effect part. My telling her the ball can't stay balanced on the flat surface of the walker's seat won't SHOW her how impossible it is. Plus, she won't believe me; she is thirteen after all.

Queen Teen studies the ball which taunts her from where it has rolled, exactly where it had been when she began chasing it. Her lips purse and her eyes narrow again, then she slowly walks forward, one rattling, stealthy step at a time. I wonder what she is thinking as she creeps up on the purple ball; what plan has she formulating?

Standing above the ball, she announces, "I'm going to get you," then she kicks the ball with her foot.

The ball rolls away from her, but this time Queen Teen grins. She dashes after it and gives it another kick in the direction of her bedroom. It takes several attempts with a few missed kicks and the ball ricocheting in the wrong direction twice before it finally rolls into her bedroom. She slams the door behind it and shouts, "Got you!"

"That ball sure was giving you trouble," I say, still watching from the couch.

She walks over and plops down beside me. "Whew. That was hard." She sighs heavily as she wipes sweat from her forehead.

"But you did it. I knew you could!" I hug her quickly.

She grins. "Yeah. I did." She looks back at the closed door of her bedroom as if thinking, "You can't escape now, big purple ball."

I imagine the ball responding, "This time. But next time, you'll never catch me."

Gravity is Most Definitely Still Working

On Thursday I was hurrying to the BART station to catch a train in time to make Fremont for my 9:00 am class. The sun was very bright as I walked directly east and the sidewalk was shaded by parked cars. I was thinking about all the homework I still had to do and the O and M skills test coming on Monday and the fact I have yet to update the Medusa's Muse website and.... BAM! I was sprawled out on the sidewalk. I had fallen into one of those large, square holes where there used to be a tree. The tree was gone, leaving a gaping trap for anyone blinded by sunshine and not watching where they were going to fall into.

I got up slowly and realized my foot hurt, but didn't seem too bad. My left knee throbbed, the palms of my hands were scraped, but I hadn't hit my head and wasn't limping. However, by the time I got off the BART train over an hour later, I was limping horribly with stabbing pain in my right foot. I made it to class, found an icepack, and spent the rest of the day long workshop (we were learning how to do vision assessments) with my foot propped up. Luckily one of my fellow students gave me a ride back to San Francisco where my car was parked at a friend's house. But I still had to drive the 2 hours back home that night, my foot and knee throbbing like crazy. Thank goodness for cruise control.

The next day, I felt every area that had made contact with the cement, namely the entire front of my body. I was bruised and aching and no amount of Tylenol could fix it. I spent the day working on my assessment report while watching Barabara Stanwyck movies, trying not to move.

If I'd been paying attention to where I was walking, I doubt I would've fallen. The hole was enormous, so regardless of the sun shining directly into my eyes, I probably would've seen it in time and avoided it. Instead, I plowed right through and ended up front down on the sidewalk.

It took falling to make me realize I am too much in my head these days. Not surprising; there's just too much to do and I feel that I'm constantly playing catch up, scrambling up a rocky hill that is collapsing under my feet. The amount of work is impossible and all needs to be done now. I made my list, distinguishing "Important" from "Unimportant," but everything is so dang IMPORTANT right now, not the least being a mom to my daughter. Because it all needs to be done, I'm not doing any of it very well. For a type A perfectionist like me, half-assed work is unacceptable.

Because I am such a perfectionist, it takes an injury to get me to slow down. I wish I'd learn to stop and breath BEFORE I fall into a gigantic hole in the sidewalk that anyone who'd been watching where they were going would've noticed. Now I'm stuck on the couch with my foot propped up, forced to sit still and pay attention to right now.

Right now I will make a pumpkin pie with my daughter, help her work on her scrap book, and practice Orientation and Mobility skills for the practicum on Monday (I wonder if I can guide someone while limping?). The rest of my homework and the edits due on my book will just have to wait. I promised my daughter we'd spend time together this weekend and I won't go back on my word. School and work will just have to be the half assed portion of the evening. My daughter comes first.

How can I Help?

I watched Obama's acceptance speech last night, stunned and weeping with joy. This is an incredible moment in history and I am so thankful I'm here to see it. Think about it. When I was a baby, Martin Luther King Jr was murdered. 40 years later, a black man has been elected to be our president.

His message, though, is important for us to grasp. We can't rest on our laurels and wait for him to "fix things." With two wars, a global economy on the brink of collapse, and anti-America sentiment vocally high, we all need to step up and ask, How can I help? Everyone must work for the change we desired when we voted for Obama. Even people who voted for McCain did so because they believed he was the best person to lead us out of this darkness. No one person, even one president, can get our country back on track and prosperous. It takes a village.

What can you do? Here's an example...

'Good Samaritan' saves crying woman's foreclosed home


Tracy Orr sat in the back of the room and prepared to watch her foreclosed home go up for auction this past Saturday. That's when a pesky stranger sat down beside her and struck up a conversation.

Tracy Orr faced losing her home to foreclosure when Marilyn Mock, a stranger, stepped in to buy it.

"Are you here to buy a house?" Marilyn Mock said.

Orr couldn't hold it in. The tears flowed. She pointed to the auction brochure at a home that didn't have a picture. "That's my house," she said.

Within moments, the four-bedroom, two-bath home in Pottsboro, Texas, went up for sale. People up front began casting their bids. The home that Orr purchased in September 2004 was slipping away.

She stood and moved toward the crowd. Behind her, Mock got into the action.

"She didn't know I was doing it," Mock says. "I just kept asking her if [her home] was worth it, and she just kept crying. She probably thought I was crazy, 'Why does this woman keep asking me that?' "

Mock says she bought the home for about $30,000. That's when Mock did what most bidders at a foreclosure auction never do. Watch why a woman would buy back a stranger's home »

"She said, 'I did this for you. I'm doing this for you,' " Orr says. "When it was all done, I was just in shock."

"I thought maybe her and her husband do these types of things to buy them and turn them. She said, 'No, you just look like you needed a friend.' "

"All this happened within like 5 minutes. She never even asked me my name. She didn't ask me my financial situation. She had no idea what [the house] looked like. She just did it out of the graciousness of her heart, just a 'Good Samaritan,' " Orr says. "It's amazing."

Not many of us have the cash to buy someones home back, but there are things we can do every day to help our neighbors, even something as simple as dragging the garbage cans out to the curb for the little old lady with arthritis who lives across the street. Our own food cupboards hold less than last year, but if we each give just one thing to the food bank their shelves won't be empty. Actions small and large are what it will take to create the change Obama talked about.

Queen Teen is currently going through her clothes and toys to find the things she doesn't play with or wear anymore so that "another child can have something new." This is a person who doesn't have a clear understanding of who the president even is. All she knows is that she wants to help someone.

Regardless of who you voted for, lets keep the flame alive and help Obama bring about the change we all hunger for, one tiny step at a time.